Stunned

Stunned is the best word I can use to describe what’s going on in my head right now. I was talking to a friend last night, who asked me why I’m still letting past pain bring me down. My response was that I’ve been working on it and I’ve been able to let go of a lot in recent months. Then tonight Elle North did a live tarot reading for her private facebook group (seriously look her up she’s amazing). She did a three card spread and the messages spoke a little bit louder than I anticipated. One card spoke of new creative projects, one card spoke of drawing within and the third card spoke of avoidance. I’ve been working on a lot of new projects, and batting around a lot of ideas. I’ve come to the realization that I need to get out of my own damn way, and just move forward with the things that I’m wanting to do and achieve. This is where the first two cards really made sense to me. Clearly these are areas I need to focus on. Then there’s the avoidance card…and let’s be real who isn’t avoiding something? In the last couple of days some painful truths have come to light with my spouse. When you have been with someone close to ten years, you don’t expect to be blindsided with information. But I was. Totally and completely caught off guard. I had to process this information, and apparently subconciously I was ready to address a couple of topics. One being old stuff, and one relating to this new infomation. Holy hell, seriously prepare yourself before you open the door, because what lies on the other side might not be anything like you thought. It might be so much worse. So here I am blabbing away trying to wrap my head around how I feel about everything, and what this means.

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